do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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