I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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