Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
