420 ftw
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
