I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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