i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
