on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
