It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
