probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
