I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
