You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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