was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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