I like my sex mixed with concussions.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
