I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize