Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
