You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
