Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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