She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize