I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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