Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's intense
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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