I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
