Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Duck Duck Cougar?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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