John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
