So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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