My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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