I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
