you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
