it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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