apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
