can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize