he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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