The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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