ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
