its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
