In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
