Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize