she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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