You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
