My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
