I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
