it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
