My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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