Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
