He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
