you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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