I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
