Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
