WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
