addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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