i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize