but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
