He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Randomize
