can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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