yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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