The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
