Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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