Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
