No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
