I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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