Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
