Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
