So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
