She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
